Agency Abused

My sons have grown up listening to me often repeat, "You choose the behavior but you don't choose the consequences."

I get that we all have our agency and that it is a precious gift. But, I hate, Hate, HATE it when agency is abused.

This was exhibited just tonight. Son#3 was allowed to look for some car parts on eBay a few nights ago. He found some things and made some purchases. He is 18 years old and should be able to make some choices for himself. Two packages arrived in the mail today. Something just seemed "off" and so he was told to open the packages in front of me. 

Package 1: Spark plug. Awesome. 

Package 2: "Oh it's just a catalog." That doesn't fly. He has to open the package. He carefully opens the large white envelope, pulls out a piece of cardboard and peeks inside. "Yup. It's a catalog." I have a strong suspicion I already know what is inside. Sadly, I am right. He has abused his agency and exchanged his freedom for a Penthouse magazine that will never be removed from its cellophane wrapper.

His excuse, "What? I have an addiction. It's not my fault."

Recovery? Nope. Not even close. I can't make him want it... no matter how much I want to control his decisions, I am not in control. And I don't like it.