Boundaries and the Great Beyond

My support group has been discussing step two in the Healing Through Christ workbook and tonight we were reviewing and sharing about boundaries. It all feels like new territory to me. I have a history of not being very good at this boundary business.

I remember a number of years ago after Mister's first major D-day, our bishop told me that I needed to tell Mister my expectations and make him live up to them. I knew what I wanted and needed so I shared those with Mister but I had no clue how to enforce a boundary so my list of expectations quickly became a list of wishes that I would cross off when it was apparent that wish wasn't coming true. In other words, I gave up pretty quickly when Mister's push back came.

But, life is always changing and this lady is better prepared today than I was nearly nine years ago. I'm ready to blaze new boundaries on those once unknown frontiers!

The timing of this discussion on boundaries couldn't  have been better. I received a phone call from our ward's executive secretary while I was at work today. He asked if I would come and meet with the bishop at 6:30 tonight and I agreed. Our bishop is pretty new to his calling and so a majority of our conversation was talking about my gentlemen and catching him up to speed with how each of them are doing and how he might be able to support and encourage them. (By the way, I am most grateful for a couple of tender mercies in this meeting. One: Bishop never asked me to discuss how Mister is doing. Two: I could share my concerns about my gentlemen without tears.)

In our meeting, Bishop also extended a new calling to me. He said I would be sustained and set apart on Sunday. The thing is, this calling will mean that I am no longer available to sit beside Mister during Sunday School. This is a big deal to him.

About 7 years ago, he agreed to attend Sunday School as long as I would sit with him and I agreed since I had already been attending the meeting and had every intention of continuing to do so. For several months I did just that, but then I was called to serve in the Primary presidency and my calling became his excuse to not attend Sunday School anymore. You see, I had broken my promise.

Tonight I made a boundary. I am giving up control of the outcome (not that it was ever really mine anyway), and handing it over to the Lord. I will go and serve in this capacity that the Lord, through his servant the Bishop, has asked me to do. I will not concern myself with whether or not Mister will attend Sunday School. If he chooses not to attend, I will not accept responsibility for that choice. It is his choice and his alone.

“Many of you have loved ones who are wandering off the path to eternal life. You wonder what more you can do to bring them back. You can depend on the Lord to draw closer to them as you serve Him in faith" (Henry B. Eyring, “Come Unto Me,” Ensign, May 2013).

"…they are in mine hands, and I will do with them as seemeth me good; for in me there is all power.”(D&C 100:1)

I recognize that this may be a little scary as Mister responds to my boundary. But, I will be true to myself and what I know to be right. And I will be brave enough to continue setting boundaries under the Lord's direction.

The fabulous women in my support group have made boundaries and not only survived, but expressed the joy they have experienced as a result. I will lean on them a little for added courage. Much love to them all for sharing their strength and powerful examples with me! ♥