I am super excited about a new boundary I have chosen with my son. So, I feel unsafe when he brings pornography into our home in any way. I have felt like the boundary needs to include something that I do because it is my boundary, not a punishment for Son#3. Here is whst I decided.
If/when Son#3 brings pornography into our home, he is responsible for taking it back out. That means that if it happened with his phone, his phone has to be outside of our home for at least 24 hours. He can lock it in his car or put it out in the garage, but it can't be in our home. If it's a magazine or DVD, he has to get it to the trash or the burn pit. My part of the boundary is that I am going to let go of being in control of disposing of this filth that I didn't invite into my home. I will let go of my fear and frustration and (this is the best part) I will focus on the amazing and wonderful person that Son#3 was, is and can yet become. I will take time to remember the strengths and talents he holds. I will celebrate the goodness of Son#3 and push out the negative feelings I have about my son because of his addiction. I will make time to remember who he really is and write down positive affirmations about him. I will be glad to share that with Son#3 if and when he wants to hear/see it.
I can't even begin to describe how excited I am about my side of this boundary because I want to have peace and grow my love for Son#3 in spite of his addiction. My boundary means the addiction doesn't win because I will not allow it to overshadow my dear son. This is my gratitude boundary!
Beautiful!
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